'Twas Christmas Eve.Not Long Ago.
The North Pole Was Engulfed In Snow.
The weather was a pure disgrace
Couldn't see your mitten in front of yer face.

But Santa Didn't Hafta Worry.
No Need To Be In Any Hurry.
No Problems Would He Have That Night,
With Rudolph's Nose...The Guiding Light!

Reindeer's Ready...Fat & Full.
Hook 'Em Up...Get Set To Pull!
But Rudolph's Feelin' Tired & Sick.
"What's The Matter"?!?!,Yelled St.Nick.

He Had The Flu.His Nose Was Dim.
What Could Be Done Now,Without Him?

***Rudolph,Rudolph...Can't You Hear?
Get Yer Dusty Ol' Butt Out Here!
Wipe That Nose...Turn On That Light.
We Can't Be Late Fer The Kids Tonight!***

The Weather Was So Overcast~
Christmas Eve Would Soon Be Past!
..."you Don't Come Out Here...NOW...& FAST!...
I'll Cram This Flashlight Up Your Ass"!

Rudolph Sneezed and Blew His Nose.
He Shook...But Then Stood On His Toes!
There'd Be No Toys,If He Stayed Back Sick.
So He Said,"Hook Me Up!...You Big Fat Prick!"

...Brighter,and Brighter Grew His Nose.Higher and Higher That Full Sleigh Rose...
***Rudolph..Rudolph... Can't You Hear?
"Get That Nasty Butt Out Here"!
Wipe your Nose.Turn On THat Light.We Can't Be Late For The Kids Tonight!***
In Record Time They Made Their Rounds
From house To house...In Leaps & Bounds
The Kids WEre Happy.Full-O-Joy.
Every One Received Their Toy!

But Back Up North...I'd Have To Say,
Things Weren't So Happy Christmas Day.
All We Heard,Was Heavy Sobbing
ol' Santa's Head Was Really Throbbing!

But Rudolph...He Was Feelin' Better!
Wearing His New Christmas Sweater.
All Good Things Must Come To Pass...
'cause He Kicked Santa's Big Fat Ass!

***Rudolph...Rudolph...Can't You Hear?
He Dragged His Butt On Outta Here.
He Wiped His Nose.And Lit The Light.
And Whupped Big Ass,All through The Night!